Tuesday, December 25, 2007

People that we love

So I decided to talk to Hunter about how Christmas Time was also a time to think about the people we love. This is an "actual" transcript.

A) Hunter - Christmas time is a time to also think about the people we love.


A) I love daddy.

H) I love grandma. (of course)

A) I love Hunter.

H) I love Dane.

A) I love Dane too.

H) I love Captain Jack Sparrow (wth???)

A) I love Grandma.

H) I love that lamp. (The broken one at that.)

A) I love Papa.

H) I love my lips.

A: I love all of my cousins.

H) I love my suits.

A) Your what?

H) My suits, you know - Like batman and superman??? (DUH MA!)

This is where I ended this oh, so important conversation. I figured if I didn't rank above the broken lamp all hope was lost :)

My 3 Sons

Well, we found out last week that we are having our 3rd son and decided to keep it a secret (to most anyway) until Christmas. It was so exciting telling everyone that, once again, a boy is in the cards. Jamie and I are super happy and can't wait to have our mini-football team. It's kinda funny though watching/listening to people's responses when we tell them it's another boy because they have no idea what to say to me. I mean, of course, a daughter would have been awesome - but the gift of a child is so beyond that, how can I not be excited! A girl wasn't in the cards for us and that's ok - this baby will just have to wear dresses!!! lmao!

And for those of you with the "burning question, "Are you going to try for a girl?" Umm, here's the burning answer - HELL NO! We are already going to be outnumbered and well, it could be another boy!!! ;)

We don't have any names picked out yet and more than likely we will not tell anyone until he is here anyway, just like we did with Dane. So stay tuned for more fun (and maybe too graphic) pregnancy details!!!!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

What the crap?

How come my 2 year old can count as high as my 4 year old? Trust me - Jamie, I and my mom put some hours in on Hunter to get him to count to ten and Dane does it like it is cake... That boy is too smart for his own good.

Dane Stories
1. My mom was singing "...Santa Claus is coming to town...." and Dane said "NO! Santa is at the mall."

2. I was driving yesterday and I was stopped at a red light and it turned green and Dane said "GREEN MEANS GO MAMA!" WTH - he HAS never identified green before!

3. The boys both got haircuts on Friday - but Dane has a big bald spot in the back where he decided to jerk while the guy was cutting his hair.

4. I heard my garbage disposal come on and an awful noise so I ran the 10 steps to the kitchen and I found Dane on top of the kitchen counter, with one of my sharp knives upside down, spinning in the garbage disposal. He CAN NOT stay out of stuff.

I am sure I could go on and on with Dane stories -but that is good for now :)

Friday, December 14, 2007

Day of Memory

My Uncle Cliff died 2 years ago today - somedays it still seems like yesterday... I don't think that in life that he realized how much he truly meant to everyone - but I know he sees it now.

We all miss you Uncle Cliff and the suddeness of your passing has still left many of us with a sadness in our hearts.

By Cinthia G. Kelley

My grief is like a river,
I have to let it flow,
but I myself determine
just where the banks will go.

Some days the current takes me
in waves of guilt and pain,
but there are always quiet pools
where I can rest again.

I crash on rocks of anger;
my faith seems faint indeed,
but there are other swimmers
who know that what I need

Are loving hands to hold me
when the waters are too swift,
and someone kind to listen
when I just seem to drift.

Grief's river is a process
of relinquishing the past.
By swimming in hope's channels,
I'll reach the shore at last.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Fa, la, la, la, la - - -

I can't believe Christmas is in 12 days! Who is going to come help me wrap all the presents I have piled up in my basement?? I really need to start wrapping :(

So - I have a question of the day, and feel free to be honest b/c, hey - you can post anonymously.

Do you think that most Christians have respect for others religions? What about other's lack of religion - ex. Athiesm?

I am just curious about this b/c I feel like I know more Christians that are judgemental and pushy about converting athiests than athiests who are judgemental and pushy about converting Christians.....

I think ALL beliefs should be respected - In the words of a Christian "there is only one true judge" yet people constantly judge others on thier beliefs.

Ok - enough religious talk for now - it's making me nauseous ;)

Don't forget to hit reply!!!

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Revelations (and some whining) from this past week

1. Do not, I mean do NOT even pretend with finger scissors that you will cut off Dane's manhood. He will not be scared, but instead will spread his legs and laugh.

2. Hunter can be seriously injured (to the point of hysteria) and as soon as his show comes back from commercial he is miraculously healed.

3. Some people will create drama and turmoil at every holiday and the best way to deal with it is to not play their games anymore. (I know, I know - I said it was a revelation, not something I do yet!)

4. Being pregnant sucks.

5. Migraines for 2 days suck.

6. I am almost done xmas shopping and am ECSTATIC about that. Now on to wrapping :(

7. I have an awesome husband and marraige and I love that we work together to make our family the best it can be.

8. Erick is a rockin' dude and I swear I will find you a pregnant, married girl just for your own!

9. Sometimes going to the ob-gyn and getting a pap is BETTER than dealing with 2 bratty kids. (I said sometimes!)

10. My DVR stopped working and I am starting to have a little bit of an anxiety attack over it. I think that may be a sign that I am addicted to TV w/o commercials.

11. My ass is as wide as I am tall. (Ok, well this may not be a new revelation!)

12. My mom is the most caring, giving person I know and I still don't think she has ever sat down to a meal and ate without having to get up up at least once. (If my boys are there - at least 10 times)

13. I am irritated when the boys are napping and I am awake. (as is the case right now)

14. I really like my job but sometimes hate the fact that I feel like I have to tell grown-ups things to do even though they already know it and just slack on it.

15. I am an awesome person and a loyal friend.

I think I will end on that note :)

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... 14 weeks

I think this is the FIRST time I have had 3 good days in a row in this pregnancy and I can handle it :) As I have stated umpteen times - I was NOT sick with the boys and if I had been there would be no Maynard Baby #3 in the works. Actually - some days I think I am nutso to be having a third anyway - what was I thinking? outnumbered.... Jamie tried to warn me :*(

As I am typing this Dane is laying next to me on the floor crying b/c, well I don't know why , just because he wants too apparently. If I had to guess it's because it's currently 10:30am and that little stinker got up at 7:00am (yes, when it was still dark) this morning. Now for some of you, 7:00am may not be a big deal - but 7:00am is NOT a time we get up around here and the currently screaming child is the reason why - he is still tired! (Of course I'm always up and have the house cleaned at breakfast cooked by 7:00am - so they only sleep in because they are tired.) ;)

Well, I am going to go rock Whiny McWhinerson (today that is Dane - sometimes it is Hunter, they take turns at something at least)


Friday, November 23, 2007

MEIJER SUCKS & Black Friday News

Disclaimer- Shopping on Thanksgiving goes against everything I want in a shopping experience, but as much as I realize this - I decided to do it anyway - let's blame this on my pregnant brain not functioning up to par.

So I draggggggggggggggggggg my tired, LAZY ass out of bed at 5am on Turkey day to get my boys the $2 Spiderman action figures at Meijer that go on sale at 6am. Now, I KNOW the crowd is going to be crazy and obnoxious BUT what I didn't know was that Meijer was going to put out ALL of the door-buster deals out early so that people who actually showed up at the time of the sale HAD NO CHANCE IN HELL to get anything because the shelves were cleared out BEFORE the sale even started. Such bullshit. (I'm just a little bitter - I hate mornings!) Anyway, don't advertise a sale starting at 6AM when you really mean "whenever the hell we feel like starting it"AM. Bastards....

So far the Thankgiving weekend sales are not looking so good for us. Even still, Jamie decides to brave the oh so high class Value City at midnight Thursday night to get some of the $10 track suits. Not only were there 500+ people in line in front of him, the track suits (that they advertised as worth $39.99) were so freaky flimsy and cheap it wouldn't even be worth the $10 - so he came home with nada.

If your keeping track that is:
Maynard Family - 0
Black Friday Crappy Stores - 2

So, I had planned on going to Walmart on Friday morning because they have the Cricut (scrapbooking) machines on sale for $119 and my mom told me if I fight the crowds, she'll get it for me for Christmas. So a few of us meet at the Walmart in Fenton because I am not dealing with Flint-Town crowds- them people are ruthless and desperate to get cheap shit. (Ok, well I was a little desperate myself, but not desperate enough to deal with the riff-raff of Flint-Town) We get there 20 minutes before the store opens and there are probably about 80 people in line, not too shabby. As soon as the doors open we did a mad dash to the back of the store and FINALLY I got what I went to the store for! I also scored a camera, some transformers, hot wheels and pajamas for the boys for Christmas. It was a satisfying end to a frustrating couple of days.

Final Score:
Maynard Family - 1
Black Friday Crappy Stores - 2

Ok, OK - so the stores still won. I don't really care because I don't plan on going out into the crazy shit EVER AGAIN! (unless of course, I want something for myself again - then maybe :)

It's all about me....

Saturday, November 17, 2007

How is it possible....

Parenthood is jacked up. How is it possible that in one minute I want to strangle the living crap out of my "lovely" children, and in the next minute I couldn't love them anymore if I tried? So I have a new theory - it isn't estrogen that causes all of the highs and lows throughout the day - it's children. My boys know just what to do to annoy the living shit out of me, and yet make it ok by saying "I love you mama" That messes with you!!!

Ah well, I am sure I am not the first mom to come to that epiphany. Hunter actually said to me the other day (after irritating the shit out of me of course!) "Mama, you are the prettiest, nicest mama in the whole wide world" LMFAO! He's such a kiss-butt!!! lol

Well, I am the prettiest...so he was 1/2 right ;)


So we have been up to nothing lately. Jamie has been working an assinine amount of hours, unfortunately those aren't all paid hours! Ah well, it will come soon enough! Hunter is doing really good in pre-school. He learned how to write his name last week, his full name and he never misses a letter (I almost cried!) Prior to that he signed his name "t H" , so this was definitely an improvement. You can tell he is so proud of himself.

Dane potty-trained even easier than Hunter, and Hunter was easy! I guess I got lucky both times. He does really good too - usually no accidents at nap time or night time either. Trust me, I needed this 7 1/2 month break from diapers since it has only been f-o-u-r l-o-n-n-n-n-n-g years that I have been changing diapers!

My mom said she is done babysitting when this baby is born (sure Connie, sure) I know she will love this baby just as much as the first 2. Dad told me the other day that he hopes it's a girl. I was shocked because he never said either way with both boys, he just said "happy, healthy baby." I almost wonder if he wants it to be a girl because he knows that is what I want :) He's an awesome dad and papa. (don't worry mom, you rock too! Just ask the boys - they love you more than even Jamie and I!)

Well - that is all for now, as if that isn't enough! Drop me a comment and tell me how much you love, hate, or can't stand my blog :) TOODLES!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

2nd Trimester - Woot! Woot!

1/3 of the way done.... I am glad to make it to the 2nd trimester, hopefully that means less sickness :)

Friday, November 2, 2007

"You are not a Bitch!" --Hunter

Well, at least Hunter realizes that he can't call his Grandma a bitch - but this was probably not the most proper way to say it... Needless to say, mom and I died laughing and I couldn't even punish him.

I said "Did you just call your grandma a bitch" and he looked at me all serious and said "No, you did." That kid is QUICK!

The future of America is partially in my hands - that is some scary shit....

Tuesday, October 30, 2007


I can't wait for the first trimester to be OVER! I have been even more bitchy and depressed lately than ever (And before you smartasses say "there is no way it's possible...just ask Jamie) I have been having a bitch of a time getting to sleep and then when I do FINALLY fall asleep, the boys do something to wake me up. Last night Hunter started yelling at the top of his lungs "I'M THRISTY! I'M THIRSTY! I'M THIRSTY!" I could tell he was still 1/2 asleep so I ignored him and he want back to sleep, but not before I was WIDE AWAKE AGAIN! Ugh! Maybe in their small way they are preparing me for the baby - thanks but no thanks boys.

So tommorrow I will be 10 weeks along - 25% done! Today I asked Dane, "Is mamma a bad girl?" and he said "no, you have a baby in your boob" WTF? Ok - at least he said I wasn't bad.

So - anyway, this has become my most random, A.D.D. post yet and I bet you are enjoying it (or not, I don't really care) Tommorrow is Halloween and we have no idea yet where and when we are trick or treating... Ah well, I am sure we will figure something out.

Well, off to watch Law and Order SVU :) Ta ta for now....

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

He's 4....

I can't believe my baby is 4 :(

I was a ball of emotions today b/c I am so excited that he is excited for his birthday - but I still can't believe he is 4 already and that makes me want to cry. His first 4 years have flown by and it makes me fear that the next 20 will too (Let's face it - he's not going to move out until he is at least 24 - he still sleeps in my bed for god's sake!)

So anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUNTER! We are so proud of the boy you have become!


On a side note - I completely mislabeled this blog because I have been so on the bottom of the world the last few weeks that I haven't felt like posting. :( I have been completely nauseous and the boys have been sick and blah blah blah and I didn't want to bore everyone with all the exaggerated details. (Don't get me wrong - I bitched about it to every single person I could - just didn't want any hard evidence whining)

Thankfully we are on the upswing and can all stay healthy (I am still nauseous, but that will go away in 7 more months) until after Hunter's birthday party on Saturday.

Friday, October 5, 2007

Freaky looking baby!

I don't know about anyone else - but that little "baby" on the right side of the page is really freaking me out... I may have to delete it until I get farther along and it looks like a human rather than a mutant......

Thursday, October 4, 2007

"You a Bich Mama"

Yes, that is what my 3 (almost 4) year old said to me last night when getting ready for his bath. My jaw hit the floor. I said "Did you just call me a bitch" and he said "yep" with the biggest shit-eating grin ever! So - this is one of those mommy test moments that you MUST NOT FAIL - yeah, I think I failed. Well, unless laughing is passing, but I doubt it is.

Anyway, after my not so discreet giggle we had a little talk about how that is a bad word and he isn't allowed to say it. He said "OK." I could tell he actually knew it was a bad word and was just testing me, so he wasn't really surprised that I told him to not say it again. He told me he heard it at school from a friend - who knows, he honestly could have heard it from me - or The View said 'bitch' about 200 times yesterday, so who knows...

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO - I did what every good, no GREAT, mother would do - I threatened him that if he ever said it again he would NOT have a birthday party! Yes I did - it was the only way to go. Threats may not be the most PC punishment, but they sure are the most effective. He even made a point to tell me after school that he didn't say any bad words - see, my threats worked!

Honestly - the biggest shocker of the day was that Hunter said it before Dane - I was positive I would get cussed out by Dane first... it's only a matter of days and honestly, some days I know he is cussing in his own language...

Thursday, September 27, 2007

A Glimpse Into The Future...

Wow - what a night! And by what a night, I mean what a SHITTY night! UGH! First of all my insomnia kept me up to darn near 2 am, so I finally decide to *try* to go to bed, only to find that Hunter was in my bed, had wet thru his pull-up and my entire room smelled like pee (I blame that on my heightened sense of smell!) SOOOOOOOO - I get him changed and get a towel under him, but I still can smell the pleasant aroma so I head out to the couch...

I think I finally fell asleep sometime after 3, but lo and behold, Dane is whining and crying at 4:15 - so up once again. I get him some Gatorade and some Tylenol (running a fever) and I lay with him, I mean I try to lay with him but that kid flips, turns, rolls, whines, repeat - so there was no "sleeping" for me. I tried a few times to go back to the couch, but he kept whining and I had to rub his feet for him (I think it's growing pains) so it wasn't until 6:30 or so when I got out of there... (Just in case you weren't keeping track, I have had less than 2 hours of sleep by now!)

So at 6:30, I went and crashed in my bed - I was so tired, there was no aroma.

I am just a little tired today.

So, as much as I am whining and fussing about last night - I realized this morning that once this baby arrives, all of my nights are going to be this much fun. Oh joy....

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

My Autobiography

1. Name something that annoys you about people? prejudice and ignorance - have no tolerance for that
2. Exactly what are you wearing right now? CHC t-shirt and sweat capris
3. What is your current problem? None really
4. What makes you most happy? My family
5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to? Suddenly I See by KT Tunstall
6. Do you like MTV? Yeah, sometimes

Chapter 1:
1. Nickname(s): Mindy
2. Eye color? blue
3.Who caused your worst heartbreak? I guess it would be more "heartache" and it was Uncle Cliff's death
4.Height? 5' 2"

Chapter 2:
1. Do you live with your mom and dad? Nope
2. Do you get along with your parent(s)? Yep
3. Are your parents married/separated/divorced? Married
4. Do you have any Siblings? negatory

Chapter 3:FAVORITE:
1. Ice Cream? chocolate chip cookie dough
2. season: spring
3. book: Anything
4. band: don't really pay attention to band names, just certain songs
5. food: Anything unhealthy
6. drink(s) (non alcoholic).: Sweet Tea (currently anyway)
8. Past Time: reading, taking baths
9. pen color: blue
10. store: Wherever the sales are
11. person: Jamie, Hunter, Dane - 3 way tie!

Chapter 4:DO YOU
1.Write on your hand: Not usually
2. Call people back? Depends on if I want to talk to them or not
3. Believe in love? Absolutely
4. Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yep, left side

Chapter 5:Have You
1. Broken a bone? yes
2. If so, where? a few toes
3. Had physical therapy? yes, everytime I ask for a simple back rub - it can't be simple
4. Had surgery yup, tonsils out
5. Taken painkillers? yes, but rarely
6. Overdosed on pain killers? How stupid can you be? BUT one time my doctor gave me a new script for migraine medicine and I took the recommended dose and I was way out of it and hallucinating! It was very very scary! (Oh yeah, that happened when I had Hunter too - some medicine they gave me made me crazy...)
7. Been stung by a bee? yep

Chapter 6:Who/what was the last:
1. Person you had lunch with? my mom and boys
2. Person to text you? Erick
3. Thing you touched? computer
5. Thing you said? Goodnight babe
7. Person you hugged? Hunter and Dane
8. person to talk to you on the phone? Amber
9. Person you sent a card/letter to: My mom
10. Person you commented last on myspace? probably Erick
11. Last book you read? Bad Love by ???
12. Last time you cleaned your room? LOL - how about never!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Sicky McSickerson

This is a PSA for all of the mothers and fathers out there -

DO NOT tell your child he/she has a fever! For some reason, as soon as you tell him/her that they have a fever ALL of their symptoms maginify by at least 50!

Hunter had said his belly hurt this morning, but AS SOON as I said he had a fever, oh lordy, I think he was going for the best actor in a drama series - he turned the drama on! Of course I feel bad for him (and me b/c I have to listen to him whine!) but come on - seriously! As if he really feels soooooooo much worse than he did 5 minutes ago!

Anyway - this little event set the precendent for the day - oh well -

Friday, September 21, 2007

Knocked up with Erick's Love Child...

Ok - So some of you may not know that I just found out I was preggo with #3! My husband, Jamie, and I are SUPER thrilled and can't wait until May when our newest bundle of crys and shitty diapers will be here! I am mentally creating pro's and con's for either gender - see what you think.

Girl Pros
~More estrogen in the house
~All the CUTE pink clothes
~Already have 2 sons
~Girls never "marry off" to a new fam

Girl Cons
~More estrogen in the house
~Have to purchase ALL new clothes and redo nursery
~Teenage years

(I probably could have thought of another negative for girls, but SHIT, I was talking myself out of wanting a daughter!)

Boy Pros
~Have the nursery done
~Have tons of clothes

Boy Cons
~I will be the only female in a house of 4
~How much more wrestling/shooting/fighting can I seriously handle?

In all honesty, I just really want a healthy (female) baby - I mean healthy (girl) baby - - wait, seriously, I just want a healthy baby AND easy labor and delivery!

Oh, and as far as the title goes - it's not really Erick's love child, but I wanted you to read the entire post looking for the juicy details. Come on, give me some credit - Erick and I keep that on the down low! (Just Kidding Jamie! Love you!)

So this is blogging...

I took the plunge - I am a blogger.

No need to call a therapist, I am told being a blogger is normal (maybe) and that it is perfectly ok to air all of your clean, dirty and somewhat musty laundry on the WWW. (sorta)

I am creating this blog mainly to vent about all the good and crappy things in my life. Hence the title of my blog "Top (or bottom) of the World!"

So, if you are reading this WELCOME! I hope you enjoy my random thoughts (and if you don't, well... you don't have to read them!)